NBA Trade Rumor Conspiracy

[Author’s note: I may have binge watched Mr. Robot and it may be affecting the way I view the world]

Hello friend.

There are trade rumors swirling.  Rumors involving the Celtics, the Clippers and possibly Russell Westbrook.  It may seem “natural” or “normal” or like “this type of thing happens all the time”, but that’s a lie.  It’s time to wake up.  What I’m about to tell you is top secret, a conspiracy bigger than all of us.  It’s time to start realizing what’s happening here.  It’s time to reveal the invisible hand.  I’m not talking about the government, I’m talking about the top 1% of the top 1%.  The people who play God with our basketball while we sit around watching summer league.  How do I know this?  Because I hacked them.  That’s right.  I inserted malware into Danny Ainge’s e-mail.  I put a honeypot in Mark Cuban’s servers and erased the backups [note: I don’t know what any of that means].  The truth is there, it’s been right there all the time, we just needed to know where to look.

The Golden State Warriors have built the perfect basketball machine.  Then they added Kevin Durant.  All of this after Joe Lacob showed his ass and talked about how “light years ahead” the Warriors were.  All this after they won 73 games and somehow lost to LeBron in the finals.  Now the unstoppable machine is even better.  You tell me, do you think the other NBA owners were just going to sit back and take this?  Do you think the richest, most ego driven people in the world were just going to sit back and let some silicon valley jerk burn their league to the ground?


It’s clear what’s happening.  The NBA owners are building a super team of their own to destroy the Warriors, and they’re doing it in Boston.  Oh really, you think it’s just a coincidence the Blake Griffin’s name is coming up in trade deals?  Oh, you think Atlanta just decided to let Al Horford leave over 6 million lousy dollars?  Oh, you think OKC is talking about trading Westbrook because its ‘smart’ and ‘what the hell else are they going to do’?  You think Boston has acquired so many assets that they can trade because they planned ahead?  Why do you think Brad Stevens left Butler?  I feel sad for you.  I’m sad you can’t see the truth.  Yes, the NBA owners are conspiring to build a super team in Boston that will run out Westbrook, someone (probably Marcus Smart), someone else (good defensive wing), Blake Griffin, and Al Horford.  Brad Stevens will have a super team of his own at his deployment, and when they meet in the finals, Boston will have all the tools they need to destroy the Warriors.  You hide and watch.  Just wait, and when Blake and Westbrook just happen to sign 2 year deals with the Celtics, then you try to tell me that this isn’t happening.

Ok, time to dive back into the dark web (whatever that is) and uncover some more truth.  Stay woke out there people.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s