From our staff to you on your special day:
Happy Birthday! I hope Ayesha cooks up something special for dinner tonight, because you deserve it. Thank you for providing us with endless entertainment from October through June. You are a true inspiration and role model, and I look forward to having kids so that I can try to teach them to be like you. As a Lakers fan, I am preparing myself for the day we are good again and I have to hate you. And I will hate you with the ferocity in which I love you now. The day that happens, a big part of me will die. But until then, here’s to another great year, and good luck in the playoffs!
I love you like Kanye loves Kanye,
At several points this year you have broken the laws of space-time. You have unlocked the secrets of the universe. You have made shots that defy the basic laws of physics. I thank you for this. I thank you for making ridiculous shots. For making passes out of double teams that seem so easy and effortless I can’t believe that everyone doesn’t do it. For chewing on your mouth guard. For bringing Riley to all your press conferences just to piss off Brian Windhorst. For shooting 60% beyond 28 feet. You are the only person who could shimmy in front of my beloved Hawks bench after nailing a ridiculous 3 pointer and still have me love you. I cannot wait to sit my daughter down, show her youtube highlight clips from this year and say “Steph Curry did all this the year you were born!” while she looks up at me wondering why on earth her father is making her watch all of this.
For all you do for basketball fans everywhere. Thank you, and Happy Birthday.